Are You a Hater?: How To Make Jealousy Work For You


Day in and day out we’re bombarded with other people’s good news (We’re also bombarded by bad news, but that’s a whole different beast). Anyway, when you see everyone else getting new jobs, new cars, having new babies, starting new businesses and overall being #blessed, it’s easy to look at your life and think ‘what about me?’.

Jealousy definitely isn’t a great feeling, and it’s something that most people won’t admit they feel. Why? Probably because coveting what someone else has means you’ve put them on a pedestal and you’re admitting that they have something that you don’t. So what do we do? We usually wind up minimizing their accomplishments with thoughts like “oh she’s probably fronting for the ‘gram” or “remember how annoying she was?”, or the worst most childish thing you could ever ever say, “she’s ugly anyway…”.

So how can you possibly make such a terrible feeling like envy work for you? I have a few tips!

Come to terms with your jealousy

Green with envy? Accept it! Denying the fact that you’re jealous only leads to playing mental gymnastics with yourself. Instead of trying to rationalize your feelings of mediocrity by throwing stones at the object of your jealousy, just own the fact that you’re feeling envious.

Pinpoint why

Why are you jealous? Do you want something they have? Or is your jealousy more personal? If you only seem to feel envious of a certain person, no matter what news they have to share, you might just be a hater…sorry! But if you find yourself jealous of everyone who’s starting a new business venture, that’s probably a sign that you really want to be an entrepreneur.

Turn jealousy into admiration

As I’ve stated before, admitting that you’re feeling jealous is like admitting that someone is ahead of or above you. So rather than envy that person, why not flip the script and admire them instead? With admiration you can covet what they have, but instead of seething every time you see a status update, you’ll feel a sense of pride. Kind of like the Beyhive!

Use your jealousy as motivation

Whenever I find myself feeling jealous, I use it as motivation to work harder so I can also be where that person is. There’s enough room at the top for all of us!

shia labeouf

Be reasonable

Are you jealous of something that you’re just not good at and never will be? Yes? Then stop being jealous, silly! That’s how I felt about Periscope. I was a bit jealous of how other bloggers seemed to be soaring on the social network but I realized I’m just not good at it. And once I recognized that, what is there to envy? Now I’m just proud of my fellow bloggers making it rain on the ‘scope!

What about you? Have you come to terms with feeling jealous?

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  • Girl you’re bringing the word with this one! I really enjoyed every word. I loved how you took a serious topic and made it a light read. You’re right on target it’s def important to understand why you’re jealousies the first place. People can be jealous of the silliest stuff.

    • Yes! I’ve been jealous for nonsensical things myself…I actually wrote this because I was feeling jealous. It’s all so silly when you get to the root of it! Thanks for reading!

  • Love this article. I think that EVERYONE has their moments of jealousy, but that negative can definitely be turned positive. Let it motivate you to pursue your own passion and purpose.

  • I love this! I think that jealousy is a child’s trait and it’s key that as adults we learn how to turn that feeling into admiration and motivation instead of hate. Great post. I’m going to share it on my Facebook page 🙂


  • I wholeheartedly believe that jealous can be transformed into something positive and motivating.

    As bloggers, it can be tough seeing others flourish when it feels like you are barely able to break through, but instead of focusing on the jealously, it’s good to make mental notes of what they are doing that’s successful and determine how you can apply it to your own voice. This post as an excellent reminder for me to do just that! Thanks! 🙂

  • I think the issue is when people don’t know how to channel negatively positively; which is why I love the tip about making it positive. When people are jealous b/c they don’t know how to do something they get upset at the person b/c of what they don’t get. Lol it’s crazy.

    I do admit I do have moments of jealousy but always remind myself my moment will come and when it does it’ll be GRAND and to learn a new skill since I’m feeling some type of way. Never know what can happen when you start changing your outlook.

  • Love this refreshing and light-hearted post about jealously! I agree with all of your tips! Sometimes it’s tough to admit when we’re feeling jealous, but that’s the first step–admit it and ask why. Great post!

  • This was JUST what I needed to read on New Year’s Day. With friends getting engaged/married, starting families, moving into their own places; shoot, losing weight–I’d DEFINITELY been feeling the little green monster in 2015. Very great read! Thank you.

  • Feelings come but do we act on them or choose not to give in to them?

    It takes strength to congratulate someone on something that you deeply desire but this is what we should do. It is the right thing and it actually makes you feel better.

    Everyone has their time. Celebrate with others and allow their success to motivate you to moving into yours.